HI "FRED DENTIST"!!
10£ QUIDS ONLY! SPECIAL COMPUTAR CHIP TECHNOLOGY BOOSTS YOUR CATs BRAIN POWER BY 1002% OR MONEY BACK!!!!
this is NOT JOKE or MONEY-MAKING SCAM! Here at ROYAL NATIONAL SCIENCE LABROATY OF ZOGMENISTAN, our SCIANCE MAN ,SULTAN HOGBO uses LIQUID SCIENTISM to POUR EXTRA INTELLIGENCE into your cat's MIND GANGLEONS!!1
GUARANTEED caT will walk on TWO LEGS NOT FOUR, become expert at ART OF DEBATE, and WEAR FINELY TAILORED TWEED SUIT (sold saparate!)) ! Will MAYBE smoke pipe and possible DEVELOP RIGHT-WING POLITICAL VIEWS!
Make CAT do your TAXES!
SNED 10£ QUIDS ONLY TO SULTAN HOGBO OLEG WHIPPLE VON OSTERBERG, PO BOX 419, then WAIT WITH CAT IN GARDEROBE (this is important, MUST BE YOUR OWN GARDEROBE) and watch amazed as we utiliZE CUTTING EDGE HOMOGENOUS ODOUR FREE technolagy to literally FIRE KNOWLEDGE INTO CAT by return of post. Cat will ALMOSTE CERTAINLY not murder your WIFE AND CHILDREN through to deadth!! Money back if this happens and official sorrys about family :oD
EXTRA NOTE your cat must have a FUNCTIONING EPISPANGTRUM for this to work
OK BYE "FRED DENTIST"!!! HUGS OK? xoxoxoxoxoxo
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Memorable Quotes: Apocalypse Now (Baker's Edition)
Kurtz: Cake. Cake has a face, and you must be a friend to cake. Cake and icing are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared.
Kilgore: I'll eat this whole fuckin' truffle!
Willard: Gregg's. Shit, I'm still only in Gregg's. Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back in Waitrose dessert and pastries department. Oh man, the yeast rose so fast in Waitrose you needed wings to stay above it.
Willard: When I was back home after my first shift, it was worse. I hardly said a word to my wife, until I said "yes" to a Pineapple Upside Down Cake with cherries and sugar.
Kurtz: We train young men to sell inedible bakewell tarts to people, but their managers won't let them write 'fuck' in the icing because it's obscene.
Willard: How many eclairs had I already eaten? There were those six that I knew about for sure. Close enough to smear their chocolate topping on my face. But this time, it was a traditional Mediterranean Baklava, a phyllo dough pastry sweetened with syrup.
Kurtz: Did they say why, Willard, why they want to terminate my management of this bakery?
Willard: I was sent on a classified mission, sir.
Kurtz: It's no longer classified, is it? Did they tell you?
Willard: They told me that you had gone totally insane, and that your recipes were unhealthy.
Kurtz: Are my recipes unhealthy?
Willard: I don't see any recipe at all, sir.
Kurtz: I expected someone like you. What did you expect? Are you a baker?
Willard: I'm a pastry chef.
Kurtz: You're neither. You're a seven year old girl, using an Easy-Bake oven, to make tasteless cupcakes.
Kilgore: Charlie don't bake!
(credit/blame for last one goes to Alex)
Kilgore: I'll eat this whole fuckin' truffle!
Willard: Gregg's. Shit, I'm still only in Gregg's. Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back in Waitrose dessert and pastries department. Oh man, the yeast rose so fast in Waitrose you needed wings to stay above it.
Willard: When I was back home after my first shift, it was worse. I hardly said a word to my wife, until I said "yes" to a Pineapple Upside Down Cake with cherries and sugar.
Kurtz: We train young men to sell inedible bakewell tarts to people, but their managers won't let them write 'fuck' in the icing because it's obscene.
Willard: How many eclairs had I already eaten? There were those six that I knew about for sure. Close enough to smear their chocolate topping on my face. But this time, it was a traditional Mediterranean Baklava, a phyllo dough pastry sweetened with syrup.
Kurtz: Did they say why, Willard, why they want to terminate my management of this bakery?
Willard: I was sent on a classified mission, sir.
Kurtz: It's no longer classified, is it? Did they tell you?
Willard: They told me that you had gone totally insane, and that your recipes were unhealthy.
Kurtz: Are my recipes unhealthy?
Willard: I don't see any recipe at all, sir.
Kurtz: I expected someone like you. What did you expect? Are you a baker?
Willard: I'm a pastry chef.
Kurtz: You're neither. You're a seven year old girl, using an Easy-Bake oven, to make tasteless cupcakes.
Kilgore: Charlie don't bake!
(credit/blame for last one goes to Alex)
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